I was trying to lay down and take a nap. I had just finished running errands. Then, out of nowhere, I got hit with these stupid memories that feel fake, but I know are real, of me being SA’d as a kid by my older brother. And it hit me, that this man has kids of his own now. I feel like I should tell someone, but I feel like it’s too late. And even if it’s not, would anybody even care? He was also a kid when he did that. And everyone thinks he’s a good person. My family already fell apart a long time ago, so I don’t know if it’d be appropriate to tell my mom or dad. But now I can’t stop thinking about it. My heart is racing. I can’t fall back asleep.

want to escape from reality

i feel like ive just been lagging behind in life so much and ive been struggling to process and say things these days </3 additionally my sh addiction has been getting a trillion times worse and theres nothing i can do to stop it other than ending my life