my sister is emotionally abusive. sometimes i don't know if its just emotional. my brain has a tendency to hide things from me, and its genuinely terrifying not knowing what someone who is living under the same roof as you has done to you. all i can remember is the screaming and fighting. sometimes she threatens to kill me. its nothing but threats, and yet being around her causes me so much fear that i'd rather lock myself in my bedroom and starve instead of being around her. she goes out of her way to be around me, when she knows how uncomfortable i am. she looks at me and smiles when she notices my panic attacks. sometimes i wish i could just stone wall it all, and be completely numb to it all. other times i want to do horrible things to her because of all the verbal abuse i remember and the possible other abuse that i can't remember. im scared of her and im scared of the person she's turning me into.