Continuation of my other rant but after I started harming myself a little bit again to feel less numb It worked to well, I would burn myself and it genuinely made me happy, I genuinely felt better so I kept doing it, then I started cutting myself again. Just a little at first but it wasn't enough.. every night I cut deeper I had to stop because I was going camping with my dad and they needed to heal so I'm currently a week or two clean sort of I've still added scratches here and there but overall I'm clean, but I'm still spiraling into the state I was in for years.. Im terrified I can't go back to it, it was horrible I don't want to be like that again it got so bad I even wanted to harm other I wasn't well and I don't wanna be like that again. My hygiene is slipping and I lay in bed all day, and I've even considered starving myself and I've already started vomiting I'm so disappointed in myself....