I keep ruining things between myself and the people I love. I'm trying to better myself, I want to be a better friend for the people I love but now it feels like they're leaving me. Now that I'm trying to improve they're getting more distant and I fear I'm going to lose them. I know I've been a bad friend and I know that they're allowed to do their own thing but... I don't even know. My friends mean so much to me but now it just seems like they want nothing to do with me and I'm scared. I'm so scared and I wish I hadn't ruined things. I miss the way things were between us back then