If it wasn't for the fact i literally have no income i would run away. I would take as many busses as I could before the police get notified then I would really sloppily cut and dye my hair (I can always get it fixed later) and start transitioning so I look nothing like my pre-runaway self and I would literally start living on the fucking streets. Living in this house genuinely feels like it would be worse than being homeless. I'm trying so hard to get a job bc as soon as I do im getting a car and ill fucking live in my car until I can find a place I literally don't care. This house has caused me to start genuinely debating suicide... do you know how fucked up that feels when before i never understood why people would harm or kill themselves. Do you know how even more fucked up it feels when you genuinely could do it and it would be your sisters fault for keeping a VERY unsecure gun (it's literally in MY dresser drawer.. like it never even crossed her mind what I could do with it.....)