Idk why but any time I want to open up something in my throat doesn’t let me. I’m so scared of being a burden, or being seen as a problem or attention seeker. I’m surrounded by people but I feel like they all hate me and only hang out with me out of pity. I relapsed recently and I feel like such a fucking disappointment especially because it’s summer and I SH on my thighs so wearing a swim suit would make it show and I can’t have anyone see them because I’m scared my parents would send me to an asylum because this is like the fifth time they caught me cutting and I’m scared because what if they think I’m too broken. And my feelings are so hard to express or even let out because I have such high walls because without them I feel vulnerable. And anytime I wanna say that I’ve had a rough childhood I think about how people could have it worse and it makes me feel so awful like I’m seeking for attention but I want someone to just validate me yet I can’t let anyone get close to me.