i have so much mental pain that i don’t know how much longer i can handle this. i fucked things up with this boy i met in september (we dated until october) and i broke up with him. i don’t know why i was stupid. now he’s dating a girl he was friends with while we were together and i feel sick. i saw their posts together and i cried so hard that i almost passed out on my bedroom floor. i tried talking to other guys on dating apps and shit and i just get angry with every single one of them and i feel sick. i have so much pain i just pray and beg to fall asleep every night because i’m kept awake by these thoughts of him. i’ve had suicidal thoughts for the past few days because my heart hurts so bad. he was the ONLY man that ever understood me. i don’t want anyone else. people always say “the one for you is out there” well no actually he was the one for me. i don’t want “the one” if it’s not him cause i cannot feel anything for any other guy.