I’m sorry to anyone else who tried their hardest to be w a religious person as an atheist. nothing hurts more than knowing they will never truly see you for you because some fictional deity tells him how to live. It’s hard to continue wanting to viv1r when he won’t change for you. my mistake, honestly. there is no one to blame but me. i tied so much of my self worth to him, that I’m not sure if i will have any without. and I can’t tell family because ik what they’ll say, and I wouldn’t blame them. I’m just so hurt. and until I leave (if I leave), nothing will change. we will be stagnant. frozen. until i either leave this place or leave his place. a year into being together he showed me he was willing to ignore my wishes. why didn’t I just disappear from that situation immediately? I’m just a desperate fucking loser who just wants to be loved…