everything is turning to shit just when i thought itd get better. i hate that boy Nd i dont want to think abt him but i cant help it. 3 years of my life wasted in trying to make myself feel worthy of him not knowing i dont deserve a piece of shit like this. not man enough to face me or his emotions and i dont know god i dont want think about whether he received his things or not i should be done with just mailing those back but i expected a text i dont know wwhy fuck i hate everything that has happened in the past 5 years i hate that it made me hate myself i hate that im unable to work or focus on anything but my crumbling relationships with people ahh i have no friends left and my only friend was that bitchass i dont what im supposed to do now that im all alone,, live on the pity and mercy of others? i dont want anyones charity. i just want affection and to be adored like before when i had friends that i lost because of him what a terrible fate i suffer from i hate my damn life