feels like my mental health is just getting worse and worse over the past few years. i've had depression longer than i havent and i just keep thinking up more and more bullshit methods of coping with it that are just making me feel crazier and crazier. i feel like. a powder keg about to explode, i need someone like you to lighten the load. i am not throwing away my, shot. i iam not throwing away my, shot. (ayo im just like my country im young scrappy and hungry and) i am Not throwing away my shot! son we are outgunned outmanned -- i need all the help we can get i have some friends laurens mulligan,, marquis de lafayette okay what else -- outnumbered outplanned! lerts get some spies on the inside some kings men who might let some things slide. i speak to voices in my head and see myself as an odd figure in 3rd person often. i pretend things that dont exist do and stand directly behind me in order to get anything done. i dont think i'll last the year, it seems fragile.