I went to a party and got drunk and reciprocated flirting with a girl behind my girlfriends back. We don't really have the best relationship, I craved an absent intimacy from my relationship. I found intimacy, but it was poison from another person. Im vile. I indulged into it. She grabbed my hand and put it on her and I kept it there. I still think about it sometimes. It felt so real? So different from how my relationship always is. I know I shouldn't have done it, I regret doing it. If I could change anything in my life I would undo that night. But I still miss it sometimes when I'm low. I miss the way I felt for a short moment