back in december i broke up with a really good guy. i had dated someone before him who was very manipulative and emotional/sexually abusive. when i met my now most recent ex, i had moved on from my ex and thought it didn’t have any effect on me. then when we got further into the relationship i had emotions that i couldn’t explain and i felt i shut down. i broke up with him because i knew i couldn’t give him what he deserved and i was shut down emotionally. i needed real emotional help but i was secretly drinking alcohol. and he didn’t know that. he continued to reach out and then i ghosted him. i had no intentions of doing that but i didn’t know how to explain i still wasn’t ready and it didn’t feel fair to make him wait. wishing that month and a half he met someone knew. but i didn’t know. in the middle of april i got sober and my emotions hit me like a bus. i started processing everything. i wanted him back and he entertained it for a second and then started dating the other girl.