I feel like a failure. My grades are slipping, and i have no motivation to do anything. I don't know whats wrong with me. My parents are strict and have high expectations if me, and right now I'm just failing them. It constantly feels like there is this heavy stone in my heart thats spreading emptiness throughout my body. Only sometimes do I feel the pain and it consumes me and I can cry uncontrollably. All I want is to feel loved, however I know that I'm looking for it in the wrong places. I know that whenever I meet a boy and I feel loved by him, its when I start messing up. I have currently met someone, and they are perfect and make me feel loved in every way, but they are making me mess up and my family despises me more now. I can't seem to have one without the other. I don't know if its worth abandoning the love of my life because I know they're dragging me behind and so that my family can finally tell me they're proud of me.