Ive never had a good relationship with food. Since I was young I've been a VERY picky eater, I would gag at the smell of some foods, and everything I ate was "unhealthy". Obviously this lead to me gain weight, and my parents made sure I knew that, constant comments on my weight, comparing me to my sister, and what did I do? I began to binge eat, which made me gain even more weight. Soon I realised i can't go on like this, I had reached around 64kg (which was bad for me at that age), so I moved onto purging. Eat, and then throw up. I couldn't do it in the toilet so I had to throw up while showering, it may seem disgusting because it sometimes got on me, but I didnt really care, this did make my throat hurt tho. After a while I became too lazy, but as of 2026, my starving journey began. Skipping breakfast, lunch, holding myslef back from eating anything until dinner, though I often give in. I am currently around 57 kg, the weight loss is slower than before, I need to stop eating.