I hate being around people. I've just run away from a social room, and I feel like I can breathe better. I don't have to think about whether I'm breathing too loud or there's a rip in my clothes that everyone is laughing about. I don't have to micromanage my expressions and movements. Even though I could've gotten some work done there, I just put too much effort into pretending to be normal around other people. I think this is what masking is. No one has explicitly said that something is wrong with me, but I feel like everything I do is alien compared to everyone else. I hate eye contact, I hate having to ask questions, I hate how no one seems to like me. I'm smart, I know I am, but that results in nothing if I can't handle people. I wish I could be a social butterfly, able to talk to anyone and do anything. Alas, I can only play the cards I've been dealt.