I am a 24 year old female. And I am mentally at wit's end. I have become more and more apathetic as time passed and now I cannot care less about everything and anything around me. I genuinely think that I am beyond saving as I have been in depression for a very long time. I find myself crying more often and wondering what my purpose in life is... which is ironic because I think that life is inherently meaningless. I have nothing to look forward to, nothing goes my way, and I feel like a complete failure. I always look at myself and go "what if..?" What could I have been? Could I have become a better version of myself had I taken another action or step? Did a certain decision lead me to feel this way for good? I am falling behind. Everyone around me seems just fine, setting their goals straight. And my pride doesn't want me to admit that I'm stuck. Suicide might be a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and yet, it is still a solution. I've also come to