growing up, i was expected to be the mature and responsible one since i was four. i'm 14 now, turning 15 this year. i've seen many people my age struggle with depression and other mental health issues, and sometimes i struggle too. but i often tell myself that others have it worse and that i should be grateful for what i have. even so, i've become very aware of pain, suffering, and how fragile life can be. it made me cautious and distrustful at times, yet i still care deeply about people and want meaningful connections, even if i'm scared of getting hurt. i've spent a lot of time thinking about life, death, and the darker parts of existence. despite that, i still try to enjoy life, help others, and find reasons to keep going. i often give too much of myself until i'm exhausted, but if i don't, i end up feeling guilty. i've had suicidal thoughts before, not because i truly wanted to die, but because life can feel exhausting. at the same time, i'm afraid of pain, so i keep going. - C