I despise numbers. Seriously. Grades, my weight, the pressure for my age, and worst of all, time. School is so pressuring, and I feel like the more I try, the more I fail. It's not fair. I'm a top student. I should be motivated. I should get good grades, but something happened to my family and it impacted my mental health soo much i started getting a burnout. I feel like a disappointment. And yet everyone expects me to act normally when everything about and around me isn't. I hate it, but at the same time I don't want these expectations to disappear because that means people still see me as someone good. Additionally, I'm so worried for university. I don't know how to reach the standard for my dream University, but I need to start stepping up. There's so many things to do---academically and for my own personal life---yet so little time. I hate it. I hate people. I hate how inconsiderate people are. I hate how they embarrass me but I don't do anything out of fear and I'm js so tired.