I feel like everyone's last priority and I feel like I was cheated out of all the love that people get from places like your family or your relationship. I know my wife loves me, but I was her first everything. First boyfriend, first kiss, it's like there's no way for her to know if she DOESN'T love me, which would explain why she doesn't care if I go hungry, if I'm sick, anything. It's like I exist in name only. She used to be the girl that saw me for me. She was sweet, almost maternal. She's grown cold. Life got in the way. College, a career, all things I'm so proud of her for. I tried turning to my friends, but they've become people I don't recognize. They didn't care when I was sick, and they only hang out on Discord after the pandemic, so I never see them, and I just feel so alone even though I'm surrounded by people. I just want to feel loved. I'm starting to realize I'm probably not good enough to deserve as much consideration as I'm asking for... But I'm already trying my best.