I can't breath properly, my chest hurts almost constantly recently, it used to appear during exams or real stressful times, but lately it's been staying consistent. My future trans self needs a good high paying job in a 1st world country, and life depending exams are coming up in 9 months. And everytime I open a book my heart hurts and I get so overwhelming thoughts, my brain runs everywhere, and I want to cry with people, but I can't. I didn't even say I'm trans to my online friends, they are younger than me so i didn't want to burden them with trans identities, I just say she/her to them (I'm mtf, and I'm still closeted irl, so it feels like I'm lying to them, even tho i genuinely didn't want to hide). I have small wrists, it gives me so much insecurity. I wanted to be irl problems free on sky cotl game, but then the friends i made there became good friends, now idk they are younger than me, and I don't wanna think of doing past mistakes