I'm insecure. I keep trying to starve myself to make my stomach fat go away. I put on makeup to hide my real face. I try new hairstyles to hide my hair. I work out to try to fix my body. All for a crush that only might still like me back. People around me hate me for being LGBTQ sometimes. I was on Roblox just chilling and drawing an LGBTQ+ flag in spray paint and a group of boys scribbled on it and started talking about how "In ____ country they throw you off roofs for this you know!" And more like that. I pretend it doesn't bother me but deep down I just want to die. I want this all to end. My, sexual brain, suicidal mind, my migranes, lack of sleep, anxiety, pain and everything in between. I want to reach in my mouth and rip out my heart. Every time I contact a helpline I end up waiting an hour for a councler and no one responds. It makes me want to die even more. It makes me feel like there's no room for me to be helped. Someone please STOP THIS PAIN!!!