Earlier this year I started having a crush on a kid that I met in Elementary School. I was a TERROR if I'm honest back then. I used to chase him and make him cry and not realize because I had and still have a hard time processing when to stop. He became a good friend of mine for a while this year before I got feelings for him. I always felt like he didn't love me but every laugh, every word, every smile made my heart flutter. During valentines day my friend told him. Thank god he liked me back but I wanted my confession to be mine not my friends. He proceeded to email me telling me he only wanted to be friends. I get it, we're young, but it made my heart sink and I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I feel like I'm broken ever since then. I wish that I had the will to kill myself. The pain is to much. But somehow, somewhere deep inside me, my love for him keeps me alive. He is my life force right now. If he tells me he doesn't like me anymore I might not be here anymore.