Part 1: This older woman drives through the shopping centre parking lot like her GT stripes turned her Ford minibus taxi into a Formula 1 car. Speed limits? Merely suggestions. Smaller cars? Optional obstacles. The “Sandton Face” is pulled tighter than a brand new leather handbag — so tight she can probably see the future, her past, and a few complaints about her “turfjakkals” attitude. Her cheeks haven’t moved since 2004, and somehow the eyebrows need to apply for separate passports. One hand glued to the steering wheel, the other permanently raised in the air with that bent arthritis finger. Honestly, I couldn’t tell if she was flipping me off or proudly showing me her ID photo for comparison purposes. The way she screams outdated Afrikaans homophobic insults out the window like a shopping trolley with one broken wheel — loud, aggressive, and wildly off direction yet so proud of herself… Shame, calm down “tannie”… Your blood pressure is doing more revs than the engine.