It's exhausting being in love with someone who you can't be with. I'm a guy, and he's a guy. In his country, it's still unacceptable to be gay, or to even express yourself how you would like to. I don't know what he thinks of me, but I'm still unsure whether I'm just deeply connected to him, or if I'm in love with him. The only thing stopping me is the fact that I think he's straight. I think everything we do is just for fun and entertainment. I enjoy his company, I want to talk to him more than I already do, but whenever I try to say something, it either comes out wrong or I get nervous. Whenever I think of him, I always find myself smiling wider than I ever have before. I pray every night for his happiness and safety, and for his love. I don't mind what we are as long as we're happy. One day, I'll be able to tell him the truth - that I'm gay, and that I love him. We literally have the same interests, he has a fucking amazing music taste, and he's just so fun to talk to.