Im realizing a lot. I think i’m messed up as a person, not literally, but just mentally tired, and unstable. I’ve always felt different from everyone since i was in elementary school. In first grade and second grade, i was with these group of girls, and they excluded me a lot. I called them all my best friends. They talked about a scary new movie? They told me to sit off in the grass while they had their talks in a circle. I stuck with anyone if they gave me the time of day. One time, the “leader” said it would be funny to pick me up and spin me around in the girls bathroom. But when I was dropped on the floor and my head started bleeding, they fled. I never picked up on the queues of the bullying or teasing, i thought it was just what other girls did. Since i was shorter than almost everyone in my grade, they called me cupcake, munchkin, dwarf, marshmallow. No one else got a nickname. It hurt a lot when I got older and realized that none of that was what “girlhood” was supposed to be.