Every time I talk, someone becomes bored or annoyed. I'm bothering others just by breathing and taking up their space. I'm never liked, nor represented as having a clear sense of self outside of parodies and stereotypes. I live just to be made fun of as a glue, as a theatre outing you might take your friends to visit- that kind of a social disaster. I don't want to kill myself for other people, but I can't stop living for them. I know that makes me weak, and the spiral continues of trying to reach some perspective that no one around me has reached before, while I'm actually dumb enough to be radicalized by other parts of the status quo oppressing people like me (yay, capitalism).