i feel like everyone judges me like every time i eat there like your fat your getting chubbier and then im like will it be better if i starve myself then because obviously you have a problem with me eating and then my mom doesn't trust me because i self harm and she put me in the loft area upstairs because i hide things from her and i think im getting better and i realize im just distracted and when im not distracted i self harm or try killing myself and also my mom doesn't really like me right now because i go back and forth in mental hospital every 2 weeks because i have episodes.