I get that I’m just getting a taste of my own medicine but holy fuck it’s just worse knowing it’s coming from a man 40 years older than me. I’m over childish games and just doing exactly the other ways to avoid any sort of conflict. I’m growing and changing and I’m over dealing with someone who’s stuck that way. I hate that I care about him. But I feel like I’m watching him repeat the same pattern that was used on me to someone else and I just feel disgusted. I focused on the good feelings for so long I didn’t realize how much it all actually hurt. I want to scream and cry and hurt myself and hope he realizes the damage he’s done to me.