I am so tired of failing around other people. I am involuntarily forced to be around others. We all are. If I had it my way, I’d be on a little island with my family and my computer to write my novel, and i wouldn’t be subjected to the embarrassment of talking to others. I am nobody’s close friend. I wasn’t good at connecting with others in school because all my friends from that time period dropped me, while they only got closer with each other afterward. I do not understand how to reach people. Every dialogue option I select is the wrong one, and I wish for nothing more than to not have to participate. To be allowed to not be around others. Waking up everyday and preparing to be disappointed is practically self harm. The literal self harm only helps so much. I am lonely, agonisingly so, but I don’t think I wish to be liked anymore. I just want to be allowed to stop trying. Others perceiving me sitting alone is worse than sitting alone, you know?