I envy people who get to try to create their own problems if they don’t have any. he’s getting bad again. I keep getting flashbacks of everything that happened to me. Exam period is coming. I’m scared, even though i go through this every year. Last January i tried to kill myself, but i stopped because i realized my grandma was still awake. she scolded me for not sleeping and i js felt selfish. Selfish that i still had people caring for me and still wanted to die. I decided to live, even though i was going thru a lot, i want to be an author. I want to be a psychologist. I want to do journalism. I want to spoil my grandparents. I don’t want to die over an abusive dad that nobody in my house likes. I’m trying not to get scared everytime i cone back from school and hear him upstairs. I’m trying not to instinctively run every time i hear footsteps upstairs