I masterbated.. so to punish myself i did small scratches with a razor. I wanted to make them deeper but I'm was too scared to. Now I need to take a shower to clean my disgusting self. To hope that my actions will be cleaned but they never feel like they do. I have gotten use to masterbatation that idk how to feel anymore I feel guilty but at the same time I don't. And then that makes me feel bad. So obviously I thought I should just SH myself. Especially when i have no where else to put these emotions.