on oct 31 i buried my memaw i never thought that her death would come so soon, especially after we had visited her in louisiana from oct 16 to 18, and she passed on the 19th which was the day after we got back to our home (8 hrs away). even though i knew she wouldn't be here forever, it just feels like she shouldn't be gone. i couldn't even look at her picture on the funeral program. it was also open casket, and all i could really do is stare at her. she looked like she was sleeping. it reminded me of how she slept in her chair in the living room. it just felt so eerie. i remember repeatingly saying in my head that she was just sleeping even though i was watching them lower her body into the casket before they closed it. even as the service went on, it felt like i myself was in the casket, feeling the heat inside with her while she laid there. idk. i just had a crying fit over it and its hitting me harder than ever. i miss you memaw. i hope you're not in pain anymore