Lately, my feelings have been an unexplainable phenomenon. I don't understand it, but after every big event like homecoming, attending my favorite sport's championships, playing our final show in theatre, I don't want to live. For some reason, I feel as though I've made a fool of myself, and not in a way I can look back and laugh. I feel pointless. Like there's no other reason for me to live. I'm young and all my peers seem to be confident of exactly what they want to do. But I don't know. All I know is that I don't want regularity to end. I don't understand the world outside of school and I frequently think about ending it before I even get there, just to know certainly what'll happen; but I can't leave my friends behind. Though, in the back of my head I think, would they even care? They'll stop really caring within a few weeks or so, just like I did with everyone who's died around me. I've made no lasting impact on this world or even one person, so what's the point?