i feel like such a disgusting parasite I dont understand. I dont understand at all. Nothing matters- even if i say I do or dont, mother will be furious either way, for lying or for being stupid. Im so stupid. I dont know what I did wrong. All I know os I did, but I dont understand a thing of how and why and I dont think I meant to I didn't mean to make mother so angry im so sorry I just k just dont know what I did wrong. But im so sorry. Im such a stupid selfish parasite. I latch onto people and take all their time and energy and leave I feel so selfish I just. Why does it matter. Parasites don't deserve to be comforted. Not that anyone would. I wish I wasnt a coward so I could die I wish i was never born I wish i had the push to just kill myself I wish i wasnt the way I was