im so fucking stupid. i dont know how anyone can be this much stupid. theres obviously something foundationally wrong with me. all i do is complain and let others down. i get angry too easily and i deal it by hurting myself and that just makes me more mad because im not hurting enough. i have a perfect lovely ass life but im still unable to keep up with my academics. i cant vent to anyone because theyre going to think im crazy and mentally ill and id rather die. ive gotten death threats over venting before, my own mother doesnt believe in me, and uses her life against me whenever we argue. she would probably lose it if she knew i was mentally ill and obviously i hate the idea of being such a loser but i am. im a hater and a horrible person and i bring no benefit around me i wish i was never born. im also dumb as shit and i cant do anything basic. everyone else can do it but me. im destined to be a failure and i hate myself. it should have been someone else. not me