sometimes, i wish my mom would just die already. she got a brain injury and she hasn't been the same since, everything feels like my fault when she talks about me. its like she expects me to be perfect, and the worst part is i have to pretend like everything is ok so her mental problems don't get even worse. i have to nod and agree then cry myself to sleep. she talks about me like she expects so much of me. she compares me to everyone arounds us, its always about how im not smart enough, not commited enough, not motivated enough and i dont get how i can be fucking motivated when theres nothing i even want to do anymore. sometimes i wonder, if she can't die already, what if i do?