I want to cry and i want to shatter. But i can't . A lot of things are going wrong. I can hardly feel my muscles anymore. My body feels like it's made of stones , rigid and heavy to move . What are my limbs even for? Everything is going wrong . I feel so nauseous. I have no one to talk to , I'm such a burden. Nothing is ever enough. I destroyed my life . I destroyed myself. There's very less of me left. I lost my dog . I lost him . I miss him . I dream of him every night. Idk what to do anymore. What was allat holding on for? Idk anymore. Idk. I js don't know . I wish I had people. I wish I had friends who actually wanted to listen to me talk. I hate everyone. I'm such a bad friend . I hurt my closest male friend and I'm so not made for any human connections maybe . I js wanna disappear. I'm so tired . But I can't vanish my future needs me . But it's hard I can't meet my ends meet anymore. I'm sorry . No apology will cut it out for me . I ruined myself.