i broke up with my partner. it was mutual. i told them that i might be transmasc, and us breaking uo was the outcome i expected. i thought I'd be better off and that i'd be okay. but when it actually happened i felt so empty i keep reaching for their contact, ready to tell them random things about my day. i still love them and i wish I could be what they want but i know i csnt. i know it won't work out because we want different things in life and they want to be with a woman. all i want is to be comfortable being a woman, I don't want to be transmasc. my heart feels heavy and i feel so guilty. i feel so dirty and i feel like im disgusting. i wish i couldve just been a girl. i want things to work because i love them but i know they won't. all i want is to talk to them, to be with them, to be their girlfriend. i dont care how uncomfortable i am, i woild give it all up. i don't want to be me. i wish i could be somebody else. i feel so guilty. i feel like it's my fault.