I wanted to kill myself for so long but I keep talking myself out of it. Forcing the pill bottle down, forcing myself to be happy. Forcing myself to keep going to therapy. But I don't think I can keep talking myself out of it. Would anyone care? They don't ask me to eat. They don't ask if I'm okay. They don't ask why I text so dry now. And don't say you would care. You don't know me. I could be a terrible person for all you know. I'm going to keep shutting plans down. I'm going to be everyone's worst nightmare until I have no friends left. I hope they hate me enough. I don't want to feel guilty when I kill myself.
other5 felt this