Of all the bad things happening in my life I think racism is going to be the thing to make me kill myself. I genuinely feel hopeless because I know for a 100% fact that I will spend the rest of my life being a victim of racism and there’s nothing I can do about it. I just keep thinking, even if all of my personal struggles suddenly disappeared today I would still have to face racism. It’s not just racism to my own people that hurts but having to see racism thrown at other people of color just makes me so depressed. There is not a day that goes by where I don’t feel the weight of my existence as a black person. From a young age I had to learn that this is “just the way life is” and I have to “focus on the good things” but I can’t find one good thing in this world that can distract me from this feeling. it just feels suffocating and I hate to even admit it because I know racists enjoy the suffering they cause. But I just don’t know how much longer I can take this.