Before I even realised it, it was already November. Somehow, 2026 was almost over. I don't really know how to describe this year, other than the fact that it has been particularly complicated when it comes to myself. Lately, those unwanted thoughts have started creeping back into my mind, and I can feel myself gradually slipping into a mindset I thought I had left behind years ago. It frightens me because I know exactly what that version of myself was like. I remember the hatred, the constant self-doubt, the destructive thoughts and the pessimism that seemed to accompany almost everything I did. I hated being that person. I hated how I perceived myself, how I interpreted the world and how easily I could turn even the smallest things into reasons to despise myself. It took me years to convince myself that I could become someone different, someone who wasn't constantly at war with their own thoughts. Yet here I am, recognising those same patterns all over again.