i am hypersexual. When i was 8 i searched up "peeing videos" on youtube because i thought that it was a normal thing to do. i liked the way it made me feel when i held my pee. my parent's saw and did absolutely nothing. Then i was lonely and depressed and had no friends in y8, which led me to start talking to this 15 year old boy. i was 12 he was 15. he then asked me to meet up and he raped me in a bush at night. 8 pm. my parents don't let me out at 8 pm anymore. they dont even let me go out at 5 pm. Later in y11 i started talking to this boy. suffice to say, he took advantage of me, and i allowed it bc i thought we were in love. he made me suck his dick. i cried in the school bathroom afterwards. Now im in y12. i have a loving boyfriend but i can't help but be scared. scared that i'll get hurt again. scared that he'll leave me. that he'll get tired of me and toss me. my bf self harmed today and i cried. i cried so much for him. 3 straight hours, trying to comfort him and myself.