I'm at my wits end. I try so hard to remain in touch with my family but every time I try I end up getting hurt. I'm here for a few days right now. They're such horrible people, carbon copies of each other that are just fucking horrid. I've just been lambasted for washing a dish too soon after using it (?), yesterday I was shouted at for leaving it to soak while I ate. It's just so obvious that they don't want me around. Me and my mam are the only ones in the whole family that get this. Everyone else is like that. Everyone else is the same. When I was younger it was worse (physical more often than just verbal) but they know they won't get away with that now because I'm strong enough to smash their heads into the fucking floor if they try again. But anything me or my mam do they have a dig at. And because we spent years in the cycle of shouting- screaming- physical abuse, it activates such panic in both of us. It's horrible. I want to crawl out of my own body. I'm so fucking done.