I'm spiraling again. Nothing really bad happened.... then a friend group im not really a part of invited me to walk to the park but... no one talked to me so I just kind of messed around by myself? Maybe it's my fault cuz I looked antisocial... no one really checks on me still. I've checked on three people today- All who are close friends but... none of them asked if Im ok too. Maybe I'm just overthinking it. I want a relationship so bad. I turned myself into what I thought would be attractive but I'm still lonely as ever. My for lack of girls saying I'm "datable" but no one wants to date me. No one's even hit on me before much less ask my number. I'm overthinking so much, I want friends I want a relationship, I want to love someone so desperately. I started listening to fucking girlfriend audios because I felt too lonely. Fuck. I'm sorry to whoever reads this this probably sounds pathetic as fuck. I'm spiraling again.