this is hard ro talk about. not because i dont want to but i guess because people never seem to understand, or i cant be open about it, or it feels like im making a big deal out of nothing. at the age of 24, freshly, i was groomed by a man 5 years my senior, online (of course). it only lasted 8 months, he wasnt *that* much older then me, so i wonder why it has left such a last effect on me? why HE has left such a lasting effect. its like my body has been branded by him, like im tainted. he said i was his, and though i havent spoken to him in a long tim, i cant help but think i still am. thinking of him, of that time is agonizing but i crave it, the pain and discomfort of it all feel right. it feels like home. it feels like what i deserve. ill be 22 this year and i have never been able to shake this off, i wish i could. i dont know how and i have nobody who understands. i want him gone. i miss him. i wish him nothing but the worst. i want him. he'll be 27 this year.