People at school have been spreading rumors about me. Ones that frame me as doing sexual and unconsentual deeds to people, or at least that is what I suspect. My best friend cut me off completely with little explanation and when I asked why 5 times, he never gave me an answer. Today is my 16th birthday and I don't think I've ever wanted t disapear from the world more. I want to either be suddenly be transported to some kind and rural European town or just cease to exist an just dream forever. One thing that I found out today a year after this happened is that my ex girlfriend broke up with me because I was too touchy/i kissed her a lot. I never meant to make her feel uncomfortable, I never meant to make anyone uncomfortable, I would never intentionally make an environment to make someone feel like they can't feel safe around me. For over a month and a half I've thought about killing myself. I once almost acted on it after a rehearsal. Im scared. Im sacred of what i might do to myself.