I have been desperately trying to claw my way out of this pit of misery and disgust and disappointment but I keep getting dragged back in and every time it happens it gets harder to make my way out. I have thought about how I would commit more times than my wedding and I don’t think that is ok.. I would never act on those actions but man how I wish I was never born some times.. im trans and if I ever told my mother she would hate me.. I wish I could be the girl she wanted but I will never be that girl at least not anymore and it makes me feel like a burden I hate living here I know she doesn’t actually like me we do not get along very well we have very different views on things but that’s ok one day I will be free