its been 2 months and 13 days. 2 months and 13 days since I last saw blood on my arm, on my fingers, on my hands, blood everywhere and my friend telling me not to, telling me it wasn't worth it. despite having only known me for 3 weeks he recognized my panic attack where my 'best friend' of 12 years didn't. is this what its come to? relying on people I barely know to keep me alive? I told my best friends and they hugged me and said they were there for me but even they knew, 2 months and 13 days, it wont last forever, I'm trying to keep it going but I don't want to, I want to dig my fingers into my skin and watch my nails break the skin and feel the pain and feel something, anything, besides this allconsuming misery. please, I just want to die, I want to go to sleep and not wake up, but I cant not when they think I'm doing better, not when my dad just had surgery, not when my brother just left for college not when I promised my mom Id stop, not when I promised but I cant keep my promise