You’re aware of your actions and yet you can’t fix it. You can’t choose a path and you hurt others along with it. There are plenty of people out there who are into open relationships yet you go target innocent ones who want quite the opposite. Your idea of romantic love is skewed..just so yk if there’s more than one person involved that’s no longer love but obsession. A grown adult like you should better fix your behaviour or you might ruin your marriage life with the same infidel mentality