I feel so uncomfortable in my skin. Yeah, 'WRONG' would be the word I'd use to describe my legs, my hair, the way I sit, the way I talk. I truly believe the world wants me to feel this way, in the possibility that I will try to change myself painstakingly enough to fit in somewhat and praise whatever is the ideal. It sounds like a good decision to starve myself. Maybe I want to have an ed. Maybe I already do. I'm a low weight for my height so why do I look so fat, why is my body so uncomfortable to call mine. And it's not just in my head unfortunately. I see it online, the news, comments people make. Is it, it is what it is? I feel disgusting, like a mockery of being seen. My insides and outsides all feel rotten from the lens I've always felt subjected to. Heroin chic. Skinnytok. Girl dinner. Skinny is the outfit. Fast for a month. I have convinced myself what I'm doing is healthy and normal, not anywhere near an ed or severe self-hatred. It helps with pushing food away.